What do you mean itsy bitsy? That thing is HUGE!

I’ve been killing a lot of spiders lately. I’m not sure if it’s just that my house is kind of old and near a woodsy area or if it’s the 100 degree days we’ve been having, but either way, I’ve noticed a lot of 8-legged roommates in my home the last couple of days—and they aren’t paying rent.

I’m not sure when I developed my disdain for insects. It almost seems like it was instinctive—a rite of passage if you will—for a young American girl in suburbia. It’s easiest for me to blame it on my older sister, though, so I will—I’m pretty sure watching her scream at the presence of anything with an exoskeleton taught me at an early age that bugs, spiders and the rest of them were “gross.” I know I went through a period where I was scared to even get within squishing distance of a spider, let alone do the deed. In my house though, it was Mom not Dad, who did the dirty defense work against the creepy crawlers who found their way inside and good lord she was merciless! Those little guys didn’t stand a chance—she’d bust them with her bare hands if there wasn’t a Kleenex handy. When I went away to college and beyond, there was always a brave roommate who would step up to plate to take care of the inconvenience, or at very least, make it a team effort.

It wasn’t until I finally ditched the endless train of roommates for a solo living situation a few months ago that I was faced with the reality that if I didn’t take matters in to my own hands (or feet, as stomping often proves very effective) I was going to have a cast of housemates I hadn’t bargained for. When I found my first intruder about a month after I moved in, I froze. He was huge and black most certainly a deadly threat. Worse yet, he was sitting on the wall behind the side of the refrigerator, making the patented “throw shoe and run” move impossible. So… I “Tilex-ed” him. And he was done. Real fast. That spray bottle does wonders for my shower tiles and must be toxic as hell because that guy was done in 2.5.

With the passing months I’ve become more comfortable living by myself, and in turn, more comfortable taking care of the pests I find inside my home. Now when I see a spider, I roll my eyes—say a quick “I’m sorry” to the little guy’s wife and kids, wherever they may be, and with the *thwack* of a flip flop it’s over.

Learning to make healthy choices is a lot like killing spiders. It’s not something you particularly like doing but it needs to be done unless you want to deal with the consequence, be it high blood pressure, inability to enjoy day to day life or a gigantic spider bite on your butt (yes, it happened). However, as we repeatedly force ourselves to take care of the issue at hand in the most appropriate manner, we practice the act. With practice comes habit and eventually our habitual actions and decisions are so ingrained we no longer have to actively choose to make them.

We will all have slip ups. Even when we think our salad ordering, weight lifting and yoga posing habits are permanent, there will be moments where we seem to “undo” all our practicing and revert back to old ways. We will eat the hostess cupcake, skip the workout for the third day in a row or “forget” to stretch after a run. What’s important is that we allow ourselves this humanness and move forward.

Two nights ago there was a particularly large spider sitting boldy in the middle of my living room floor. I was so ticked off at his audacity that I put a cup over him. He is sitting there, as I write this, in the same spot on my living room floor trapped in his glassy little prison. I don’t know if I’m waiting for some magical roommate to come home and take it outside or for my Mom (who always thought it was pretty wimpy to be scared of bugs) to show up rolling her eyes and carrying a wad of executioner’s tissues. Maybe when we make bad decisions about our health we’re subconsciously hoping someone will come and whip us in to shape, tell us what to do. I know Mom isn’t going to drive 15 minutes to kill a spider for me, so chances are, no fairly godmother of weight loss is going to flutter into your kitchen and remove the spoonful of cookie dough from your hands.

We are our own best resource. Trainers and nutritionists--even doctors--can only do so much. The vast majority of your decisions are left in your hands. Making good decisions and killing spiders—they both take courage, planning and most importantly, practice. As we solidify our healthy habits independently, we become more self-sufficient and confident and confidence is the most wonderful measure of success.