"Just a bite!"

Last October, one of my closest friends made the decision to stop working at the front desk of a fitness center and start working at the front counter of Icing on the Cake, the world’s most wonderful bakery. Needless to say, she faces a range of challenges on a daily basis that most of us only have to deal with on grocery store trips and at birthday parties. After spending some time catching up on her couch yesterday, she confessed that she’d put on a considerable amount of weight since starting at her new job. When I had stopped by the bakery for a few, um, supplies last week, she actually referenced the store’s banana cake as her first true love.

“What about Dave (her boyfriend)?” I asked.

“Oh. No. He understands banana cake comes first.”

Even with the acknowledgement of her sweet little problem and the motivation to change, my friend has been struggling to change the habits that landed her in her stretchy pants.

“Saying no to all the sweets was easy the first three days, but days four and five were horrible, “ she complained.

It was immediately obvious to me that my friend’s approach was problematic. Any weight management strategy that proves so intense you can reference days of the attempt by number is not going to be sustainable. And so I let her in on one of my favorite tips: “just a bite.”

It’s very scientific, really, and the instructions are super complicated, so let me explain. Regardless of the food you’re craving or the reason you’re craving it, you allow yourself “just a bite.” The downside of this strategy? A lot of wasted food. I’ve been known to endorse a Miranda-esque defense against weak willpower and squirt dish soap, old beer or other unpleasantries on top of the remainder of the leftover bites of my indulgences. However, by allowing yourself to crave and then enjoy foods that make you happy, you succeed you create a healthy, moderate relationship with all foods. Taking a bite of a cupcake 3 times each workday instead of eating three full cupcakes each workday still offers you a sweet something to look forward to without doing enough damage to pop the buttons on your uniform.

As with baked goods, small victories in exercise can add up. The traditional approach to exercise can be so intimidating. The idea that we have to devote hours each day to fitness in order to stay healthy and fit is not only obnoxiously depressing, it’s wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The mother of one of my younger clients asked me the other day, “How many hours do you work out each day?” It has been a long time since I’ve tried so hard not to laugh.

Yes, I will occasionally dedicate a full, solid hour of hard work (i.e. lifting, sweating, jumping, catching, etc.) to my fitness goals. Yes, I have been known to plan the occasional hilly run just to challenge my legs and prep me for my next event. But the afternoon I spent playing with the Frisbee in the pool with my sister last weekend? That counts. The climbing date I’ve been trying to make with my old roommate? That will count, too. It is the choice to lead an active lifestyle that is the most effective move toward health, not the forced and miserable 3 hour workout at the gym and definitely not the week-long manic cupcake deprivation. Moderation in all things is the answer.

My nutrition professor at UC Santa Barbara had a great line: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.” So some days, we’ll eat the whole cheesecake. Some days, we’ll run marathons. And that’s okay, too.

But for most days, take “just a bite” of exercise and enjoy a bit of your favorite bakery item guilt free. Because what’s the point of life without banana cake?